In the last few months, I’ve written a little bit about my mother-in-law, Ethel Rosenthal, and I’m sad to report that I must now say my mother-in-law of blessed memory. I wrote about her last in the context of Shavuot and the story of Ruth and Naomi. I was so lucky to have Ethel as my mother-in-law – she was an inspiration to me as a Jewish woman leader, and as a Jewish woman, period.

Ethel died as she lived, surrounded by loving family, with dignity and privacy. For an extremely private person, she lived a very public life in Bayonne, New Jersey, the community where she was born and where she lived her entire life. She was the daughter of immigrants who themselves believed in devotion to community. Her father helped to found the Bayonne Jewish Community Center and Temple Emanu-el, also in Bayonne, two institutions to which Ethel was very devoted. In fact, Ethel was the first woman to be president of the Bayonne JCC. She was also the second president of the Bayonne Community Mental Health Center, and served on the boards of Temple Emanu-el and the New Jersey Jewish Home and Hospital. She was a Lion of Judah, in name and in deed. Honored by the National Conference of Christians and Jews, she was also named a Woman of Achievement by the Jersey Journal.

Not surprisingly, all of this was very daunting when I first met Ethel, when I was a twenty-three year old law student. Moreover, not only was she a pillar of the Jewish community, she was very knowledgeable about the arts – she founded and then, for over fifteen years, ran a program at the Bayonne JCC called “Leisure and Learning” that explored art, music and theater, all from a Jewish perspective, bringing groups into Manhattan and bringing up and coming artists and musicians to Bayonne. She and my wonderful father-in-law, who survives her, had subscriptions to the opera, ballet, Philharmonic – you name it, they were there. Not only did Ethel appreciate art made by others, she herself was a talented artist and sculptor.

I don’t have an artistic or musical bone in my body. What Ethel and I did have in common was a love of Jewish community and a devotion to creating a strong, loving Jewish home. As we got to know each other, she would share with me the challenges she faced as a woman leader in the various facets of life in Bayonne and by example, showed me how to maintain friendships, family life and the art of an orderly home while doing all of this community work. (Now, I must say right here that I certainly had a strong role model already in my own mother, who was doing this all as well. I was just really fortunate to have two such role models.) As I’ve said before, Ethel taught me how to travel the world and to bring home special reminders of every trip – and thoughtful gifts for all of the children. I cook her recipes, keep careful records of all of the holiday menus just like she did and am always happy to have the Preminger/Rosenthal clan here in our home, just like Ethel did in hers. I look forward to spoiling our children the same way she and Al did, with amazing dinners at the best restaurants in New York City. I wish I had her talent for arranging flowers; I can only hope for her sense of color and style whether in selecting art, clothes or furniture.

But I think I also had an influence on her. My mother-in-law loved to laugh and she loved nothing more than a good laugh at her own expense. We were on one of our wonderful family trips, this one to Bermuda, about fifteen years ago. It was March, and it had rained every day. We had six children with us, ranging in age from about three to nine. I decided that we needed an outing and that we should all get on one of the pink Bermuda buses and take a ride up to the then-recently rejuvenated port area. So, being no slouch at organization myself, I got all fourteen of us on the bus. My mother-in-law looked around, looked at me and, with her trademark laugh, said, “I don’t think I’ve been on public transportation in thirty-five years!” She always gave me the benefit of the doubt, and seemed to be appreciative of the result of my plans and ideas. I think I showed her that I could hold down a full-time job and still be involved in the Jewish community and also have time for her son and her grandchildren – and I think she was still relieved when I stopped working to devote myself full-time to the last two efforts (and I think I was, too!)

Ethel Preminger Rosenthal embodied the ideals of service to Jewish community and devotion to creating Jewish family. She will always be one of my heroes and a very precious role model. May her memory be for a blessing and may all of you be blessed to have someone in your lives like her.

Leslie

In the year since I began “From Leslie’s Laptop,” I have become much more aware of all of the terrific writing that is out there on the internet. I’ve found many other bloggers whose writing makes me laugh, makes me think, makes me angry – in short, engages me. Having a laptop that I can carry around the house means I’m simply online more. I’m not sure whether all the time I spend reading and writing and yes, checking Facebook has interrupted my actual human contact levels; my job as Women’s Philanthropy President has certainly kept me in touch with all of the wonderful volunteers, donors and staff that make Women’s Philanthropy so special.

One of the things I’ve started reading is the online magazine Tablet (www.tabletmag.com). It’s a lively presentation of news, literature, entertainment and other aspects of modern Jewish life. You can receive it as a daily digest and then go to the expanded version. I don’t always have time to read the whole issue, but there‘s almost always one or two pieces I find I want to check out. Yesterday’s issue caught my eye because of the featured article’s provocative title “Blogorreha: Why I Don’t Read Mommyblogs” and its author, Marjorie Ingall. Ingall aroused the ire of many Tablet readers a few weeks ago with a post about her “dilemma” about what to tell her children about Israel. I was very pleased and proud of Andrew Silow-Carroll’s commentary on that post, which you can read at www.njjewishnews.com/article/editors-column/what-shall-we-tell-the-children.

Ingall writes in yesterday’s Tablet that she was horrified to be included in a list of “top Jewish mommybloggers.” At first, I thought Ingall was making the point that the term “mommyblogger” was akin to “chick lit” – yet another way to diminish the contribution of women to literature. But she basically goes on to dismiss women who blog about their lives as mothers as not as good as hers and for either not disclosing enough about their families or disclosing too much.

Here’s the interesting thing: for the last year, I’ve been following two “mommybloggers” and it’s one of them, my friend Alia Ramer, who turned me on to Tablet! Alia writes with humor and with ahavat Yisroel, a true love of the Jewish people and Israel, at “Our Tribe and Joy,” which you can find at www.njjewishnews.org/tribe. Oh – and the other blog I follow is my cousin Emily Mendell’s, called Mothers of Brothers, www.mothersofbrothers.com, (but is a great read for mothers or fathers or grandparents or anyone who was a child at some point). Both of these women are smart, funny, busy as possible and still able to write circles around anyone.

While my topics have not been about being a mother very often, Alia and Emily, and even provocative writers like Marjorie Ingall have been my inspiration and my unknown companions for writing honestly in this blog. My time as president of Women’s Philanthropy comes to a close on June 30, and more than anything I have loved, loved, loved working with other women, lay and staff, who are the best network and support anyone can ask for. I have no patience for women bashing other women (so back down, Marjorie, but keep making me think) and all the room in my heart for women supporting each other. Anna Fisch, the new Women’s Philanthropy president as of July1, has asked that I continue to write “From Leslie’s Laptop” so you will still hear from me, although sometimes it will now be from “Leslie’s iPad” - trying to keep up with technology!

Here’s to the start of new things!

Leslie

I am a proud graduate of a women’s college. Smith College, Class of 1979. I came of age in the era of second wave feminism and I was so proud of so many women who were “firsts” back then – Smith itself had its first woman president, Jill Ker Conway, who became my advisor. Sally Ride, Sandra Day O’Connor – watching women take on new roles was inspiring and exhilarating. I don’t know that I specifically thought of Helen Thomas when I thought of these other women “firsts,” but I certainly knew that she held a powerful position as the first woman dean of the White House press corps, and that she didn’t shrink from difficult questions.

I guess I had come to think of her recently as an irascible older person, kind of a professional crank, and I guess I knew that she was no friend of Israel. But I was in no way prepared to hear coming from her lips what I saw on the YouTube clip (which was sent to me via Facebook – evidence that the world of print journalism that Thomas represented may truly becoming irrelevant.) Was I really hearing this? Jews should get the hell out of “Palestine?” Go back to Poland, Germany and the United States? These are remarks that I would find chilling, offensive and ignorant in anyone who uttered them, never mind someone as educated, articulate and admired as Thomas is. Anti-Semitism is always hard to accept, and for me, always harder to accept coming from someone who, one would think, has been exposed to the truth of history. Growing up in Newport, Rhode Island, I knew that there were places that the “summer people” had that weren’t open to Jews at that time, but I never encountered anti-Semitism from the everyday people my family and I lived among. In fact, it wasn’t until I got to Smith that I realized that there were people – smart, educated young women who I thought were just like me – who thought they were better than me, simply because I was Jewish and they weren’t, who were ready to stereotype me and use terrible terms to describe Jews. Listen, when I arrived at Smith in 1975, to be a brunette was to be in the minority, and the school was only 11% Jewish, so I don’t know why I was so surprised by what I found, other than it never occurred to me that allegedly intelligent women – women!! – could be anti-Semitic.

But here I am, over thirty years after leaving Smith, still shocked and horrified that hate and ignorance can come tumbling from the lips of a woman of alleged achievement. And even more concerned is the truth of history, that there have been Jews in our homeland continuously, despite expulsions, slavery and exile, that Jews returned to that homeland in greater and greater numbers starting in the late nineteenth century to build on land thought useless and left unwanted and untended and that Israel has been a legitimate, legal modern State for 62 years, can be so blatantly denied. Israel was not created as an attempt to assuage the horrors of the Holocaust, although it is certainly true that the few survivors of the Shoah couldn’t return to the homes in Poland, Germany, France or Hungary they once knew, and that they were murdered for trying to return in more than one instance. Israel was created as a modern, democratic Jewish state to fulfill a two-thousand year old dream of return to our ancient land, and to work toward the reality of a country founded and functioning on the ideals of Torah. Has Israel yet achieved those goals? Not entirely, but it is striving. And I will spend my last breath defending Israel against those who would try to eliminate that effort, no matter how revered or admired or even just intelligent they may seem.

Be strong and of good courage
– Leslie

I’ve been writing this blog for about 10 months now, and here’s a little insight into how the process works: either I’ve had an experience in the week gone by or am anticipating one that I think might be of interest to someone other than my immediate family (or sometimes you might find it more interesting than they do!) or something is happening in the Jewish world that impacts me personally that I want to share. Sometimes an idea materializes unbidden and I’m simply compelled to write, whether or not anyone else might care. In any event, at some point on a Sunday or Monday (and sometimes on Tuesday, all apologies to the wonderful staff who make sure this gets published!), I sit down at Leslie’s Laptop so that this blog appears in your mailbox and on the front page of our website. Until around noon today, I had a couple of ideas I was thinking about.

I thought I might write about my experiences at the Jewish Federation of North America Board of Trustees meeting and the National Women’s Philanthropy Board retreat, which took place last Sunday through Wednesday. It was an exhilarating three and a half days, and I was especially interested in learning more about JFNA’s participation in addressing the “boycott, divestment and sanctions” movement and in hearing from three twenty-something women who spoke to us from their perspective about how they “do” philanthropy and tikkun olam. Maybe another time.

I thought I might write about UJC MetroWest’s Annual Meeting this past Thursday, which showcased our six partnership communities in Israel. It was like being in two places at once, having so many people I care about in the same room – I’m used to being in Israel with groups of people from MetroWest, but it was beyond great to have so many Israelis I’ve known for so long with us in Whippany. Maybe another time.

But not tonight, not since my email inbox started receiving message after message this afternoon about what unfolded off the coast of Gaza this morning. I was somewhat vaguely aware that there was a “freedom flotilla” of six ships headed toward the Gaza coast from Turkey and that this flotilla was planning on attempting to run the Israeli blockade in order to deliver humanitarian aid. The blockade of Gaza is intended to prevent weapons from entering; humanitarian aid enters Gaza every day from Israel and in this instance, the aid could have been delivered either by transferring it to Israeli naval ships or by coming into Ashdod. I didn’t have a good feeling about what was going to happen, because there was so clearly the opportunity for the Israeli soldiers to be forced into a bad situation, once again exposed to condemnation for defending their country.

My fears were confirmed. I started seeing TV news reports of Israeli soldiers boarding the boats. Five of the six boats in the flotilla were boarded and inspected without incident of any kind. On the sixth ship, I think the best I can say is that things went terribly, terribly wrong. The Israeli soldiers rappelling onto the ship were attacked with knives, and beaten with metal rods and had their own weapons turned against them. Forced to return fire, at least ten people from the ship were killed. As of this writing, I have no additional information on any casualties. But once again, the drumbeats of Israel as the bad actor are banging through the internet, blogosphere and so on. Surprisingly, however, is the response I am seeing from Israel and the organized Jewish world. I feel as if I am seeing a real-time, pro-active response that isn’t going to let the usual Israel-bashing go unremarked.

But mostly, I’m just sad. Sad that people died and were injured. Sad that things seem to be getting worse, spurred on by actors seeking to delegitimize the only true democracy in the Middle East. All I really wanted to do on this beautiful Memorial Day is to get on a plane and be in Israel. There’s nothing I could do there, other than to be with my friends in a land that I love. I didn’t get on a plane – yet - but I am writing, to speak out and stand up.

And here’s what I’ve realized as I was writing – the things I wanted to write about originally are actually related to this breaking news story. The BDS (boycott, divestment and sanction) movement that JFNA is preparing to address is fed by planned events such as the “freedom flotilla.” We must learn more, prepare better and be ready to confront this well-orchestrated and articulate effort. And we need to speak with – and listen to – our young people in their twenties and thirties so we can share our viewpoints and our passion for the Jewish world. It is only through open-minded dialogue that we can possibly hope to convey my generation’s fears and concerns for Israel’s safety and future to a generation that sees Israel as strong, perhaps too strong, in their opinion. But it is the kind of sustained partnership and encounters that the UJC MetroWest Annual Meeting represented that is truly the answer to both the BDS movement and to engaging our millenials in meaningful conversation. Meeting actual Israelis, working on meaningful projects that have an effect here and in Israel, sharing meals and relaxing together allow us to see the daily challenges and complexities of Israeli society, going beyond the headlines and rhetoric. Israel is not a perfect place, nor is it a perfect country. It is, however, the ancient and modern home of my people, founded on compelling ideals, based on the timeless tenets of Torah. We must engage with Israel; we must engage with our children about Israel; we must prepare to engage with those who oppose us.

In memory of those who served this country of which I am so proud and in sorrow for continuing strife in a place I love

– Leslie

Coming to you from the Jewish Federation of North America (JFNA) National Women's Philanthropy Board meetings in lovely downtown Jersey City, here is this week's blog.

I went to church this past Sunday. Actually, I went to two synagogues and then to church. My congregation, Oheb Shalom Congregation in South Orange, New Jersey, is celebrating its 150th anniversary. As a part of this celebration, we have created a wonderful connection with the congregation that currently occupies Oheb Shalom's last home in Newark, the Wells Baptist Cathedral of Church in Christ. We have been to their Sunday morning service, they have been to a Shabbat morning service at Oheb Shalom and Sunday was designated as the "Walk of Ages: A Fundraising Event 150 Years in the Making." The Walk started at our former Prince Street location, now the home of the Greater Newark Conservancy (www.citybloom.org) and went through the streets of Newark to what Oheb Shalom "old-timers" still refer to as the "High Street shul," the magnificent building on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Boulevard, next-door to the old YMHA. The members of Oheb Shalom and Wells Cathedral raised funds as walkers for three wonderful organizations associated with the three buildings of Oheb Shalom: the Greater Newark Conservancy, housed in our first building, the Lighthouse Community Services, which provides a multitude of services to the homeless and is a favorite cause of Wells Cathedral, and the Community Food Bank, which Oheb Shalom has supported and participated in for several decades since moving to South Orange. You can read all about the Walk of Ages, our amazing team of volunteers, clergy and staff that made the day possible at www.oheb150.org.

The Walk of Ages alone was an inspiring moment, but the interfaith service at Wells Cathedral that followed was one of the highlights of my time as a member of Oheb Shalom Congregation. When I served as president of Oheb Shalom, our historian and past president (and descendant of our founding rabbi Isaac Schwarz) David Schechner made sure I got to Wells Cathedral. I had heard about the beautiful stained glass windows in our "High Street" home for as long as I could remember and I was eager to see them. Upon walking into the sanctuary, I actually gasped. Not just because the windows are so unusual and breathtaking, which they certainly are, but because the sanctuary felt like home. Our main sanctuary on Scotland Road is almost the same size and shape as the one at Wells Cathedral, and I felt as if I had been in the room many times. The Wells Cathedral has lovingly preserved and cared for this building –  the Jewish stars are still on the ends of the pews and in the decorative friezes over what was once the bima and is now the altar. The stained glass windows, with their depictions of menorahs, the Ten Commandments and the hands of the priestly blessing still glow.

But when I saw it the first time, the sanctuary was empty, devoid of the human spirit that makes a house of worship a home. On Sunday, it was full, with the life and joy of two congregations coming together to share what we have in common, a devotion to repairing the world in the name of God. We were welcomed so warmly and with such gracious hospitality that I felt we were meeting old friends. We sang - two congregational choirs coming together in an amazing and joyful sound that had all of us on our feet. Rabbi Mark Cooper and Pastor Hersey Taylor spoke meaningfully about the nature of faith in action. To hear words of Torah sung again from a lectern where they had rung out for years moved me to tears. For me, it was the last song that said it all. We sang "I Need You to Survive." The words "I need you, you need me, I pray for you, you pray for me, I need you to survive" echoed over and over in the sanctuary. We sang them joyfully to each other and to our new friends. And it's true. We need more reliance on each other, we need to care about each other, and we simply need more people of good will and strong action to make the world a better place in these challenging times.

MetroWest's roots in Newark continue to inform more than just Oheb Shalom Congregation. There is a Newark Advisory Council, run by our UJC Community Relations Committee that works to address the issues, challenges and triumphs of Newark. The other two congregations that trace their historic roots to Newark (and who have already celebrated their 150th anniversaries), Temple B'nai Jeshurun and Temple B'nai Abraham, are also committed, like Oheb Shalom, to social action programs that aid Newark's current residents. The Weequahic roots that bind together many MetroWest friends and families still make us a strong and vibrant community. I have no idea what the founders of Oheb Shalom would have made of last Sunday, but I envision an ongoing relationship between my congregation and Wells Cathedral that will help move us forward into the next 150 years.

Here's to remembering our roots and those that gave us wings.

Leslie